They are requesting me to also give an advice (for guys, this time) about anything within the relationship arena. I was thinking of something to post until I realized I have already posted something of this nature somewhere.
This is a comment I contributed to Mr. Jon Bada's multiply blog post which contained the following:
What does a guy have to do to win a girl's heart?
There's this old friend of mine, asking for advice. For the girls, what does a guy have to do to win you over? Well, not to become a girlfriend already, but just to get your attention. :> For the guys in a relationship, what's your secret? :>Answers will be very much appreciated... Thanks!
DISCLAIMER: This is for a friend, not me. :)
***************************end of Mr. Bada's post***********************
There were many comments and I contributed a relatively lengthy one. You can visit his multiply site if you want to see the other comments; his site is exclusively for contacts, though.
If I didn't have anything new to say, I wouldn't have posted this comment. But after reading the suggestions already posted, I felt like I had to contribute in the discussion. So please don't expect that this advice is something common or easy or popular. This comment, however, was greatly appreciated, affirmed and reiterated by those participating in that discussion, and many of them were GIRLS. =))
Anyway, here's what I said:
Don't court her. Treat her as your girlfriend at once, even without her knowing it. Let her be surprised by your holding her hand, your going out of your way for her, your "presumption" that she's yours to nourish and to take care of.
If she appreciates and reciprocates, then "getting her" is just icing on the cake, a formality. If she feels awkward and uncomfortable about it (kahit baka masampal ka pa), then you have reason to explain and apologize, which I think will turn out to be a passionate and romantic conversation.
No pretense, no uncalled-for or manufactured chivalry, no waste of time. And if she rejects you eventually, at least you know that it'd really not work out, because you've been your real self all this time. That's better than pretending to be what you aren't during the courtship period.
The point is: Courtship is really not trying to get to know each other more. It is usually just waiting for the girl to respond to and share in a resolution the boy has already reached before the courting started.
NOTE: I'm answering the question: "How to get a girl", not "How to win a girl's heart". Even though the latter question sounds more romantic, I think it is less sincere. If you show a girl the true you at once, then winning her heart is actually getting her for good. If you are another character when you were trying to win her heart, then it's possible that you have her heart only until she sees the real you. =))
Believe me. Ladies want to see beyond the gentleman facade, which everyone can wear. And being a gentleman does not always mean being gentle and slow.
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